words...

We communicate with them..

We express with them...
We write with them...
We sing with them...

Our feeling are what we have to do with as we please. The same is on what we say & HOW we use our words. Lately I can't seem to wrap myself around all that is going on in my life as well as my family & friends.

I was told this weekend & reminded again last night...

Leah, let us take care of you. Rest....

First does anyone know how hard that is for me. I think we all saw what I went though last year with my wrist. Asking for help is not my style. I am very strong & independent person.

Yes, I over think things... a good & bad quality in me I like & dislike at times. I know who I am... Like who I've become in life. I wish I had found this person when I was younger.

But I'm glad I found out who I am before I die. Some people never do.... I have no regrets. (well 1 or 2) but if died tomorrow I would be ok... My Dad had many regrets... I saw that in his last year of his life. Always saying sorry for not being a better person, a better dad... I have to disagree. Yes, he wasn't a all over warm in fuzzy person. Not anything like me. I'm a sappy. Always saying "I Love you" ect.... But he gave me a foundation, values, and a list that goes on and on.

What I am saying today is this. I am OK... Tied yes... I hold the weight of the world on my shoulders. I care to much & love hard. I'm seeing this in another friend. I can't seem to let go...
I SEE SHE ALWAYS SAYING IT DOESN'T MATTER & WHATEVER!

So can someone tell me how... how do you just stop loving & caring... Stop the control in your life. God please show me the answer on this without saying "whatever" I so dislike that word. Yes I use it.. who doesn't. It's so easy to do.. "whatever I don't care" clearly you do care your upset & your body language say it too.

This is why I posted the song "Strip Me".

1. How can you not want to get up grab a hair brush use it as a mic and sing out load... Yes, I have done this but not to this song. Stop laughing folks... it's so me. (yes i want to do karaoke one day & it's on my bucket list)
2. I am only one voice.
   
3. My heart is like a load speaker that's always on 11.... (my favorite line)
4. You can take my pride... BUT I'm still going to be me. Still the same girl I've always been. A loud, silly, loving, caring, compassionate, sappy person who will give you my last dollar, the shirt off my back & a place to be safe ... warm... and most important LOVED!!

I guess this is why I've been sooo tried lately. Giving of myself to everyone but myself. I really don't see me changing this. A week on a beach will not change it.. A friend told me she was going to take me phone away.. REALLY I want to see that. LOL

Don't get me wrong guys... I am very happy & still going strong. Not sad like I was a few months back. But still keep me in your prays... I read something the other day that went like this... "A person might be happy & perky on the outside, But really they might be having a bad day... So please be kind.
It really has made me think more when I'm talking to people.
Three "L's" to live by...
LOOK
LISTEN
LOVE... We all need that.

I'm Blessed to be loved by many...
leelee