Life is just not interresting...

but it is frustrating at times.

I keep telling myself you need to post a blog so the few that read it knows what is going on. Then my mind flips the invisible coin in my head and says nahhh why if I'm not interested in my own life why would anyone else really want to read my post.

 Now I have to tell you all that I had one hell of a day yesterday, from waking up and reading a text from a friend telling me unhappy news to having a intense discussion most of the day with my niece on a boy with both know and getting so frustrated cause I feel she is battling a hope that is just not there. Then last night I just did a few hours of battling of my mind to heart to soul and came up with a look at it this way...

• not my life
• not my problem 
• and last all i should be doing is listening and that's all clearly she has her mind up and this is who she is and anything I had said and will say is always going to have one reply of this... "you are not giving him a chance and I don't have faith in him"

Clearly now I am sad that I lost a day with her and all I hear in between is she wants to spend time with him on the 4 days with him. Me I am fine with having her stay with his family. I feel like I am the problem and clearly feel the only way to help her is to just let her go. I think for myself I would feel so much better if she did.

Sometimes making your own happiness is to just let go of the ones you love.

So here is sit I'm half dress for work and I need to move on. All I wanted this trip is for her to be here with me. She is the only family ever to come to my home in Wa. I didn't get to do the homecoming I had plan cause the boy picked her up. Why didn't I... good question!
We had planned to then to but the day before she called and told me this boy want to come and see her but how she said it was he wanted to get her. I was so sad, upset and well lack of a better word pissed. I haven't seen her for 3 years. I get it they "have feeling for each other"
We talked it over and to tell you the truth I just don't care anymore.

So folks, what do you do??

For me...I just want to let you know 3 things...

1. I am alive.
2. A broken heart will always mead.
3. And family will hurt you the most and in the end you will still love them. Even on a shit day like yesterday. 

So I will leave you with one small piece of my soul.....

"The ones who you care the most for your life are the ones you will hurt the most."

Life isn't fair cause if it was we all would be happier and living the high life in sunshine and  gold!!!

peace out
leelee
<3